thoughts, observations, and commentary from an entrepreneur / CEO / husband / dad / consumer / producer / fan / advisor / participant
3 Aug
I’m a huge Gilbert Arenas fan. He’s talented, super hard working, and plays with a chip on his shoulder. He’s probably the NBA’s most prominent blogger. He’s also a bit nuts.
This bit from his blog got some laughs from my friends at EarthEcho:
There Are No Such Thing as Shark Attacks
I know this is random, but I just want to clear this up for people out there.
There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack.
I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.
We’re humans. We live on land.
Sharks live in water.
So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.
A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.
When I see on the news where it’s like, “There have been 10 shark attacks,” I’m like, “Hey, for real?! They’re just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don’t live underwater.”
I don’t know where he comes up with this stuff.
Update: Andy’s comment points us to Dan’s D.C. Sports Blog (which then points us to Gilbertology) which explains exactly where he comes up with this stuff.
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4 Responses for "No Such Thing as Shark Attacks"
I think he might have lifted it from a comedy routine.
Indeed! Thanks for the update, Andy. Gilbertology is all over it as well. Looks like I should do more research before posting …
It’s an interesting case. From what I understand, Gilbert doesn’t actually write anything — he dictates each post via a phone call. I wonder if things are ever taken out of context (i.e., perhaps he gave credit but it was edited out?).
Regardless, you have to love the web — people will call you out on stuff like this.
Apparently, at least when it comes to stand-up, it’s acceptable to use someone else’s jokes. I’m not sure if that transfers to blogs by professional athletes.
Assuming this just isn’t for Williamses…
I agree with Gilbert, but not so much the phrasing of the argument.
A shark isn’t attacking so much as it is eating, a survival necessity. When we “attack” a plate of food, we aren’t literally attacking. When the butcher kills the cow, he isn’t attacking the cow.
Maybe it’s only an attack based on perspective. I’m pretty sure the cow is not agreeing with the butcher’s point of view.
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